Jokes9

On with the jokes!!Some jokes may contain adult content!

AUDITIONS

 

Two young starlets are discussing the auditions they have just had with the movie producer.

 

"Did he give you a good part?" asks one.

 

"No, he did not!" replies the other. "Why he made me such a ridiculous offer,

I just laughed right in his balls!"

 

 

 

Ten Things You'll never hear a man say

 

10. Here honey, you use the remote.

9. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

8. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

7. While I'm up, can I get you anything?

6 . Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpap

er store with me?

5. Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just want to be held .

4 . Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

3. Aww, forget Monday night football, Let's watch Melrose Place.

2. Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.

1. We never talk anymore

 

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One Liners….

Q: What's the difference between oral sex

and anal sex?  

A: Oral sex makes your whole day, anal sex makes

your hole weak.

 

Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy

have in common?

A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.

 

Q: How is a woman like a condom?

A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

 

Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky

Fried Chicken?

A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs,

all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

 

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?

A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and

in the end you lose your house.

 

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

A: Because everybody who can run, jump, and swim is

already in the U.S

 

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw

 

 

 

LIPSTICK

"Can you explain to me, how this lipstick got on your collar?"

  the suspicious wife sneered.

 

"No, I can't," the husband replied , "I distinctly remember taking my shirt off."

 

 

What a man hears…..

What a Woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean up.

Your stuff is lying on the

floor, and if we don't do

laundry right now, you'll

have no clothes to wear."

 

What a Man hears:

blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON

blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I

blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW

blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES

 

Did you read all the jokes?Hope you enjoyed them.I will add more jokes soon

.If you like jokes come back soon.

 

 

                                                     

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