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8 things you will never hear a woman say 8. What do you mean today's our anniversary? 7. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV. 6. Ohhhhhh, this diamond is wayyyyyyyyy tooooooo big! 5. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being 'just friends' 4. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small? 3. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there. 2. I don't care if it's on sale, $300 is way to much for a designer dress. 1. Hey, pull my finger!
Once again Leroy was asked to do a simple homework
assignment. Still befuddled by the whole school
thing,
Leroy is a trooper. He was given another set of
vocabulary words to use in sentences. Here's what he
handed in:
1. HONOR ROLL - We was playin poker on the stoop the
other day, man I was HONOROLL.
2. PLANET - I got me some seed to grow weed, so I
PLANET in the backyard.
3. DISMAY - I went for a blood test, the doctor
pulled
out a big needle. He said, "DISMAY hurt a little."
4. OMELETTE - Every time I start a new job, OMELETTE
go after a week.
5. STAIRWAY - When me and my homies get high, we
STAIRWAY into space.
6. MOBILE - I went to buy crack, I was short on
cash,
my man said, "Gimme one MOBILE."
7. DEFENSE - I ran from the cops, and hopped DEFENSE
and got away.
8. AFRO - I got so mad at my bitch, AFRO a lamp at
her.
9. AFTERMATH - I like to be high in school, so
AFTERMATH I go to the field and smoke weed.
10. LOCKET - I slam the door so hard, I LOCKET.
11. DOMINEERING - My girly's birthday was yesterday,
I got her a DOMINEERING.
12. KENYA - I needed change fo the subway, so I axe
a stranger KENYA spare some change.
13. DERANGE - DERANGE is where da deer and antelope
play.
14. DATA - At my basketball game, I scored thirty
points. My coach said, "DATA boy!"
15. COPULATE - I called 911 and an hour later when
they show up, I said, "COPULATE!"
16. FASCINATE - My girly's titties are so big. Her
shirt has ten buttons, she can only FASCINATE.
17. BEWARE - I asked the man at the unemployment
office, "Is this BEWARE I get a job?"
18. DIMENSION - I be tall, dark, handsome and not
DIMENSION hung like a horse.
19. COATROOM - The judge said, "One more outburst
like that, and you'll be thrown out the COATROOM."
20. DECIDE - I like Wanda and Yolanda, but I like to
have a couple of bitches on DECIDE.
Redneck computer term glossary
Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3
flat tires
and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with
barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in
order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife
and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that
watermelon
seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before
a trip.
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